Sometimes when you read these articles you wonder if the person writing it really gets what you’re going through. While my journey was most definitely different than yours, I understand the struggle that comes with patchy hair grow, insecurity and researching ways to cover up bald spots.
There are many reasons why women have alopecia or struggle with problematic hair growth. You may have taken Taxotere for breast cancer and never grew back a full head of hair or it could be the result of unfortunate genetics. My journey started with a horrible car accident. I was 21 years old and in college. One Friday night, my friends and I decided to eat dinner at a local Mexican restaurant and then hit the mall which was only a couple of miles away. We wanted to stay together in one car so we chose to go in my friend’s old Chevy Bronco that didn’t have a middle seat belt. (Heck, it was only a couple of miles away… what could happen?!?) As we were going 40 miles down the road, my friend who was driving turned around to laugh at a comment I had made. She didn’t realize the cars in front of us had stopped at a red light and we plowed into those vehicles with no time to slow down. I flew from the back middle seat into the dashboard and peeled back the top of my scalp like a too ripe peach. With a fourth of my blood lost and 30 staples and 10 stitches, somehow this Humpty Dumpty was put back together.
That was a couple of decades ago, but as you can imagine, the journey still isn’t easy. Chronic pain is a constant companion, along with the embarrassment of a huge scar on my head that only grows hair in certain areas. I’ve tried short hair. I’ve tried long hair parted over my bald spots. I’ve endured acupuncturists and massage therapists who pressed and played with my scalp. I visit the salon only once a year because I hate for people to touch my head (either from embarrassment or scalp sensitivity, I’m not sure). I’ve wanted to try hair growth treatments like expensive shampoos, Rogaine and other fancy products, but as a mom of two, who has the extra income for mom’s vanity? The hair that does grow is grey (once from trauma, but now because I’m in my 40’s); thank God for $6.99 boxes of Nice and Easy at Target.
The psychological effects of permanent hair loss are far reaching. As women, our hair is our crown. It’s our sense of beauty and femininity. It’s an expression of our style and a reflection of who we are. Outsiders may judge and think that we’re ungrateful to be alive and that our perspective is off, but we know that they’re incredibly wrong. We are grateful. We are a tribe of strong, amazing survivors. But that doesn’t mean we can’t mourn our former tresses or be angry or frustrated at the journey that brought us here.
